Sucks to suck.
The only thing worse than being fat is being fat and stupid.
The only thing worse than being fat and stupid is being fat, stupid, and psychotic.
The only thing worse than being fat, stupid, and psychotic is being fat, stupid, psychotic, and thinking everyone else is psycho.
The only thing worse than all of that, is being you, because you possess all these qualities AND you’re going no where in life.
Damn.
Sucks to be you.
Sucks to suck.
Why we watch movies like the notebook:
“but the end always makes me cry..”
“I know, I could use a good cry right now.”
“what?!”
“IM SORRY..my boyfriend makes me too happy. I haven’t cried in like, 4 months..shut up”
..yep. So it’s happening. Bring it on Ryan Gosling!
I feel like it should be socially acceptable,
In fact there should be greeting cards, to say things like “happy made it through labor day!” and “happy worst pain of your life and you survived day!” to give to mothers on their child’s birthday…
Where I need to refocus my outlook back to:
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good
…Gotta re-find that.
I do not apologize
I’m sorry -
Am I supposed to be excited?
Am I supposed to be happy that this marks the day that I began dying?
That today marks the day that I was unfortunately brought into this world;
This disgusting, evil world filled with awful people, bullshit, pain, suffering, greed.
Am I supposed to be glad that I’ve had to put up with this shit for 20 years today?
That I’m expected to deal with it for another 60?
Am I supposed to be happy that today is the day that I breathed my first breath of my own, only to begin to fill with toxins and begin on the path to death?
I’m sorry -
Am I supposed to be excited that it’s my birthday?
Oh.
Missed that memo.
Fuck 2012. And birthdays. And really all holidays that were decidedly celebrated because some man or woman says they should be. They’re just days. Just one more day closer to all of this dumb shit ending.
No. I’m not pessimistic.
I’m not depressed.
I’m not even angry.
I’m just, not excited.
And if you don’t like it, fuck off.
“It’s my birthday.”
Just on my way to work…
Driving the beast today (the acadia) since my car is getting astristart!!
Halfway to work for my 6:30am shift..spilt scalding hot coffee onto my leg/ass/seat
Had to turn around and go home to change and shit. Pissed. Now I’m half hour let to work…
On he minuscule bright side..I must admit that I love that in the end of december, I can run outside to my car in a tshirt and jeans and be comfortable temp wise.
The human body essentially recreates itself every six months.
Nearly every cell of hair and skin and bone dies and another is directed to its former place.
You are not who you were last June.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can never change. We are every evolving. We are always changing.
So make yourself who you want to be.
Sometimes we take moments to evaluate our lives…
The verdict is as follows:
I have been lucky to have the greatest people in my life.
My family is incredible, my friends are amazing, and I have the two greatest best friends a girl could ask for along with incredible people who care about me.
I have been laid a path littered with opportunity.
An education
An awesome job
A free place to live
The chance to live anywhere and have support
I am healthy.
Despite the minor ails that everyone faces
I have possessions others do not and sometimes cannot.
And will continue to acquire more
I face challenges that are minor.
I have good grades, great memories, and a truly great life.
I am lucky.
I love this chance at life and I intend to get everything I can out of it.
Thank you Collette* and Kenzie*,
My family
Sam
My amaaaaaazing friends, classmates, professors, co workers, employers, everyone. (past, present, and future)
You guys are what make my life so great. You are why i am who I am.
About me
Like a teenage girl writes her secrets, stories, and lessons in a diary...I write mine here.
